Life As I Know It and The Grammys

Doing what you want to do isn't nearly as easy as I thought it would be.  Not writing, not crossing things off a 'To-Do' list, finding time to get healthy, spend more time with friends - none of it. The fact that I haven't taken the time to write in this blog in two years is glaring evidence.  I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in some sort of time vortex that sucks literally weeks out of my life without me even realizing it. Good intentions go right out the window and all I'm left with is a dirty house, piles of laundry and the realization that not much that I wanted to do has gotten done.

So instead of bitching about it, I've decided to live with the less than pristine home, buy new clothes when I run out of things to wear and adopt a 'hey, whatever' kind of attitude about things that I've previously put at the top of the 'must do' list.  It'll either work itself out or not.  At this point I'm not sure that I care. 

Pop Life: Justin Beiber's  Possible Deportation and Beyoncé's Incredible Bod

Living in South Florida has its ups and downs.  For one, we draw a very glammed up crowd down here.  Texans can argue with me (and by God, I know some of them will!) but we ARE the third coast.  Cali's got it going on and New Yawk is trés chic.  But Miami is badass and you will be hard-pressed to find a lot of people who will disagree. Sun, sand, nightlife and fab parties aside, being a place that draws the rich, famous and the famous-for-being-famous has at least one huge drawback... Justin Beiber came here to party.

Let me make it clear:  we don't need you Justin.  

You don't add anything to the mix.  Yes, we have both women and men that have more after-market parts on them than most hoop-dees rolling around on their twenty-twos.  That aside, we also have real people who are talented and contribute to the betterment of society as well as the SoBe glam quotient.  Be it through their athleticism, musical or artistic talent, philanthropy or just by being their most wonderful selves  -  so we don't need a punk ass, mediocre singer who drag races neighborhood streets in an effort to buy himself some street cred. 

I think you set it up.  I think you figured since you weren't going to the Grammys and didn't have anything better to do, why not get arrested?  I wouldn't put anything past the Biebs and his PR machine.  And yes Scooter Braun, I'm looking at you.

Next up is a petition that's already been signed by over a hundred thousand people demanding that his skinny Canadian butt be deported - put me down.

So the Grammys came and went and I have to say that I enjoyed it - for the most part.  I thought the performances were actually better than expected (lip synching aside).  I even kind of dug the collaborations, though last year's Alicia Keys/Maroon 5 is still my #1.  Here's a few thoughts:

P!nk:  I love you girl, God knows I do.  But as impressive as your Cirque du Soleil schtick is; we've seen it before.  Worse, we've seen it at the Grammys before.  I know you're on tour and it's hard to come up with something totally new while in the midst of that, but please try... try... try....

Imagine Dragons and whoever that was with them... :  OK so I looked it up (what the hell did we do before Google?)  anyway, THAT was Kendrick Lamar.  Sorry dude, you were awesome but I didn't know you before that performance and then the whole Macklemore Twitter "you were robbed" thing.  You were awesome, they were awesome - everyone was awesome.  I loved seeing the big drum thing - even though ID did it at the American Music awards.  And yes, I know I just called P!nk out for recycling shit, but whatever.  It was exciting and all that pounding made me think 'damn, what an awesome ROCK performance this is!" which is good considering they won for Best Rock Performance.  What can I say?  I'm spot on, just a little late to the game.

Kacey Musgraves:  You poor thing - you should hire someone to break the kneecaps of the guy that set up the Grammy performance schedule.  Really.  You did a great job, but to put you on in your cute little light up square dance dress and sing a sassy Grammy winning country ditty after shit was exploding, literally exploding on the stage 20 yards behind you only 10 seconds before your first note?  Bad timing, sucks for you. Congrats on your win - don't  hold your breath looking for a congratulatory bouquet from Taylor Swift though.

Speaking of Swift:  You looked great, you sounded great, but WTF was with the multiple hair whips?  One was fine, it didn't even look all that staged, but then two?  Three?  Four???  Sorry, just didn't feel right and looked even worse.  I figured by then you'd be satisfied that you actually had more screen time than all of the winners... put together.  Guess not.

Lorde:  Oh Lorde - I love the way you sing.  Some people were making fun of your over the top awkwardness claiming it was staged for dramatic effect.  I don't buy it.  I think you really are awkward.  The black dip-dyed fingertips on the other hand were pure Goth drama.  More subtle than a dress made of meat or walking around with a stuffed swan as part of your evening wear.  Watch for it to show up on every angsty teen you know.

Same Love:  Highlight.  Definitely. Mary Lambert is a goddess.  Nice job and quite the F-U to the rollin' right.  Kudos all around.

Hey Bey Bey:  Damn girl, way to make the rest of the female population feel absolutely sexless!  Not familiar with the song.  Were there lyrics?  I couldn't tell because all I could do was look at your bangin' bod in that dominatrixy body suit thing. I'm thinking that I'm not the only one that had that reaction.  Predicting a little brother or sister for Blue Ivy approximately 9 months from now. 

  Um, Wow.

Overall the Grammy's were pretty entertaining.  I thought there were a few clunkers (Sorry Willie) and poor Robin Thicke who had arguably the most played song of the year, ended up having to share the stage with a band that hasn't been relevant in more than two decades.  But no Miley, no GaGa, no Adele and no JT.  A surgically altered Madonna (and child) doesn't make up for that. 

By the way Madge, Satan called... he wants his outfit back.